Prologue: This was written many moons ago when I was living in Kuwait. Yet re-reading this diary entry from the past still resonates in the present, and feels true to share it with you at this time.
As my mum departs the shores of my desert home here in Kuwait, I'm left sitting in a quandary, as all times of change leave us tested
The cool of winter is settling on our shores, and the cold peaks of my mind are starting to ice over, only glistening in the minimal sun that comes with winter. Shorter and shorter the days grow there until spring will appear with all its life force and warmth...
Times have tested my head, heart, and physical form recently. Realising that time on my own has been fleeting in the last 8 weeks, like an elevator descending levels I've watched it pass by in number form. But all of a sudden, I'm here again, exactly where I need to be. Sitting alone in my apartment, with my two days off work. My phone switched off, Alfie getting his z's on the fluffiness of his dream clouds or maybe the comfiness of our new cushions. And then finally I can breathe in silence. Yes...I can hear the sound of my inhale and exhale, like the ebb and flow of the ocean tides...
What we often forget is how our physical body reacts to emotional and mental strain. We feel fine but all of a sudden we have a sore knee for weeks on end, and we are uncertain as to why, or we get a consistent headache - like a jackhammering in our mind. Or in my case, it's my digestive system, always my digestive system! This time it's shut down and has decided to act like a volcano. It's making me stay put for bed rest, only letting me eat what my body really feels like and keeping me oh so close to the toilet bowl, as it rumbles and roars with the fire deep within. All because I didn't give you time alone in the last 8 weeks, instead I kept you social, working, and running around with family. I didn't give you time to breathe. Of course, I get it now... but it's too late... my scales are totally unbalanced.
Now it's time to re-balance.
So what happens when life starts a marathon and you missed the starter? Or maybe you missed the entire fact that a marathon was beginning? All of a sudden you wake up running your ass off, panting, legs burning and feeling like you're about to have an adrenaline peak spew at any moment. Balance is a key part to getting it right. So how do we keep or restore balance when there is no time or space in our world to create it?!?
Make some time for yourself - stay in bed for an extra 5 minutes when you wake up and just listen to your breath. Count it even. Go for walk or run totally alone, again listen to your breath. Read a book. Again listen to your breath. Your breath is an anchor to the here and now. The present moment. Exactly as things are.
Checking in with yourself every day is a necessary measurement we must take in life to stay in the middle of our world. So our scales remain balanced, listen to yourself at least once a day. I mean truly listen. And you will hear exactly what you need. You might not like what you hear but it's there for the taking.
So sit down, breathe and listen.