After two and a half years of a life in the beautiful arid lands of Morocco, only to jam my life into two boxes and a suitcase. Time has a funny way of keeping it real.
I have been home now for two months. When I say home, I mean where my parents live. For me I kinda make a home wherever I go...
It's not until being back within the warmth of my family and friends that I understand how burnt out I actually was. Two and a half years of consistent work and a high maintenance relationship = one fucked up me.
Of course I loved my work and my partner at the time, it was amazing to create a space where people could be vulnerable and let go - release their own burn out - but to be home has meant that I am now dealing with myself. This is not the easier thing to do when you have been totally pre-occupied with 100's of other people's lives.
Key things I have learned about myself in the last month;
1. I like to avoid shit where possible (avoidance)
2. I like to keep busy (avoidance)
3. I don't like having to do nice things for myself (self worth issues)
4. I like to be on my own (avoidance)
5. I don't like people touching me (recovery)
6. I really, really missed my dog Ruby (therapy)
7. I like how easy life is in Australia (recovery)
8. I really like chocolate and beer (self comfort)
9. I missed my friends and family a lot more than what I thought possible (dickheads)
10. I love the rain and I missed it (cleansing)
I have been working on a series of super short video logs about the most difficult thing that life has given me so far, should be on my YouTube channel in a few weeks...
"For last years words, belong to last years language, and next years words, await another voice. And to make an end, is to make a beginning" T.S. Eliot